Dirty, dirty!

I like to think of myself as a responsible, well-informed mother. I do my best to keep toxins out of my son. We have stainless steel sippy cups and try to avoid things made in China. We don’t use health products containing parabens or phthalates or other nasty things. We buy organic when we can and avoid processed foods.

Yet I cannot convince my son to keep garbage out of his mouth.

I don’t mean junk food. I mean garbage. Literally.

You see, I work hard to give my son healthy, fresh, homemade food. He, in turn, throws these lovingly prepared meals on the floor, only to eat them later when they are dried onto the tile and covered in dust.

I read small print on ingredient labels until I go cross-eyed, ensuring that my son’s soaps and shampoos and lotions are chemical-free. He tries to eat cigarette butts off the beach. Then he goes for the rocks, and at least one mouthful of sand for good measure.

I give him filtered water and organic milk to drink. He thinks it’s hilarious to drink soapy bathwater and take big gulps out of the dirty, brown river.

I use non-toxic cleaners and laundry detergents and don’t allow shoes in the house. He eats my shoes.

We purchased an organic, cotton mattress, free of fire-retardant chemicals and carcinogenic foam. He tries to chew the garden hose and washes his hands in the toilet.

And it's not that he doesn't understand the concept of filth. In fact, "dirty" is his favourite word. He yells "Dirty, dirty!" every time the toilet seat is up. He poops on the potty, claps, and shouts "Dirty!" as if it's the best thing ever. He points at the garbage and very seriously tells me: "Mama, dirty, dirty." (Either that or he's telling me that I'm dirty. I'm hoping for the first option.)

I guess I can be comforted in knowing that his immune system is getting a very good workout from all of these germs. But cigarette butts? Rocks? And sand?

Well, at least it’s BPA-free.