The Things We Do...

I should know by now that even something as routine as a chiropractor's appointment can take a surprising turn with a one-year-old in tow.

The morning started in chaos, so I should have known. We were late due to the fact that an accident had closed both lanes of the highway, it was pouring rain, and every major artery in the city was closed for construction. My shortcut turned into a long, long, long way around. My son was hungry and tired, so he started to yell at me about being stuck in the car (“Ba-dah! Ba-DAH!” I’m not yet sure what this means, but he sure yells it with conviction.)

When we finally arrived, my chiropractor had taken the next patient, so we waited our turn. I watched the clock tick closer and closer to naptime.

My son was pretty happy at first. He climbed up and down the stairs. And up. And down. And up again. Exciting stuff. Then he discovered that each little glass table in the waiting area was full of pamphlets and other great things that could be pulled off, ripped, and tossed everywhere. Then he discovered the garbage bin. Yes, Captain Destructo was in fine form that morning.

By the time it was our turn, we were both exhausted from running around the office. My chiropractor has a toy box, so my son is usually quite entertained during my visit. This day, however was different. The moment I lay down on the table, he started to cry. Then he escalated to wailing. He had never done this in her office before, and he would not stop.

We brought in the receptionist for reinforcement. He usually loves her, but he just cried harder. So my chiropractor tried to go ahead anyway, while the receptionist restrained my writhing, wailing child, and I sang “Wheels on the Bus” with my face squished into the table.

No dice. It was way past nap time and he had hit the wall. But the chiropractor had an idea. Rather than cut the visit short, she laid my son on his belly on top of my back. Picture it, if you can.

He was instantly silent. And there we were: mommy on the chiropractor’s table, baby on top of mommy, chiropractor working on my hips, and the receptionist making sure that baby didn’t fall off.

I started to laugh. I couldn’t help it. It was so ridiculous. My son had his cheek pressed up against my cheek, his eyes were half-closed, and he was drooling down my face. I think he almost fell asleep. But I started to laugh, so he started to laugh. And once the baby giggles started, we all got the giggles.

The chiropractor managed to finish her adjustments, and as I struggled off the table and slid my son from my back into my arms, I saw that he was now all smiles. The trauma of ten minutes ago was forgotten, and he was full of beans as usual. Like this was the funniest thing that had ever happened.

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong. It certainly was the funniest thing that had ever happened to me in a chiropractor’s office.