Nobody Said It Was Easy

I had my first official Mother’s Day last week. (Last year apparently did not count, because I was “only” pregnant and not “really” a mother yet, according to my dear husband.)

I have always tried to recognize the importance of Mother’s Day, but I’ve never quite appreciated the day’s significance until this year. Nor have I realized how inadequate my flowers or cards have been to thank the woman that gave me life.

Until now. Because until now, I didn’t understand how much it takes to be a good mom. I never realized how tired my mom must have been, working nights and weekends, and then being home during the day to feed us, teach us, and play with us. We just took it for granted that she would always be there.

I didn’t understand how often moms want to run away, sleep, cry, have a moment to themselves, take a long shower, read a book, but don’t – because their kids need them.

I didn’t understand how your entire heart could be walking outside of your body. I didn’t understand how the thought of something happening to your child makes you die a little bit inside. I didn’t understand the ferocity of the mother bear.

Until now.

Now I know that motherhood demands a sort of self-sacrifice that is impossible to understand until you do it. I still don’t fully understand, as I have never parented a toddler, or a teenager. Not yet. But I will never be the person I once was, because now a tiny, helpless human being depends on me for everything, and every choice I make has to take him into consideration. Many people say that kids cramp your style, and this article even claims that children don’t make you happy.

I beg to differ.

After all, no one said it was easy. No one ever told me that being a mom would be a breeze. No one ever said there wouldn’t be sacrifices. No one. So we can’t say we weren’t warned, and we can’t expect a cakewalk. There is sleep deprivation. There are temper tantrums. Nap battles, poop explosions, breast infections, stretch marks… yes, there are all of those things, and some of them are really tough things.

But they all pale in comparison to baby giggles, sloppy kisses, cuddles, and the excited race to the door when I come home. There is nothing like the amazing feeling of teaching this little person skills he will use forever. There is a blissful joy in watching him discover sand, water, birds, and wind. And there is the fact that my husband and I are now closer than ever, because this is the biggest joint endeavour we have ever done.

Finally, there are the nights when I can instantly soothe my panicked and terrified child with just a simple cuddle. That, my friends, is a powerful thing.

Motherhood is not for the selfish. It really isn’t. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything, because nothing worth having is easy. Children included.

As for those people who don’t believe that having kids will make them happy, well, that’s ok. Not everyone was meant to be a parent. But I’m sure glad that my mom took the risk. I’m grateful that she made the sacrifice to be the best parent she could be. And I’m grateful that I’m finally starting to understand it.

Thanks, Mom.